The Christian Patriarchy

I’ve been known to lose a minute…or hour…in the realm of short form video. My current poison of choice is YouTube shorts. One of the things I like is podcasts that also do videos on YouTube. A current trend is to have a group of conservative men converse with progressive women. A topic that comes up often is the concept of submission of the wife in marriage. I have to be honest, that has been a tough one for me too. I agree with it, but haven’t been able to articulate it. Then, I was on a walk in the woods and gained some clarity on the topic (thank you, God). This is my first attempt to articulate what I received.

Firstly, God has revealed himself as the father. He could have chosen any form, but He specifically chose that. So, we have to take that seriously.

Secondly, God revealed himself as the Son. Again, could have chosen any form, but did not. Jesus said that he was one with the father and all authority has been bestowed upon him. He also prayed, “your will be done,” in Gethsemane, showing his submission to the father. He has ascended and sits on the throne of Heaven.

Jesus Christ inherited everything from his father. Therefore, Christianity is, by definition, a patriarchy.

I am a strong believer in what I call shadow symbols. I’m sure there is a real theological term for it, but that’s what I use. A shadow symbol is when things in creation are shadows of the spiritual reality. Because of our sinful nature, we are essentially living in the Upsidedown (that’s a Stranger Things reference).

Marriage is a shadow symbol. It is actually a multi-dimensional symbol, but we are just going to focus on the patriarchy.

The man, like Jesus, is already in submission to his father. If he were to leave his family and become one with his wife, submitting to her leadership, he would lose his inheritance. In the patriarchy, the woman does not have an inheritance, which is why she leaves her family and joins the man’s. She becomes one with him and participates in his inheritance. The son is in submission to his father to gain an inheritance and the son’s wife submits to him to participate in his inheritance.

This is a shadow symbol of the Church. She (we) have no inheritance. The only thing waiting for us is death. By submitting to Jesus and joining his family as the bride, it makes us one with him and participants in his inheritance.

This explains to me why we have the system we have, but what does it look like?

The husband as head of the house is in full submission to Jesus and is to love his bride as Jesus loves the Church. The wife is to love and submit to the husband as the Church submits to Christ. Christ has proven a gentle lover who desires the good for all in his Church. He uses the gifts of all for the purpose of building his family. The Church is utilizing everything She has to attain the vision of he first love.

One of the things I think is often overlooked in all these conversations is that the man must also be in a submissive position. I think, that if a man is fully submitted to the Lord, it would not be difficult for a wife to submit to him. I think about how I have had good managers and bad managers. The good ones were easy to follow and support. The bad ones were miserable and we fought all the time. I think that is similar in marriage. A good man will be easy to follow.

Let me know if this helps or if you have any questions. I welcome the opportunity to fine tune these ideas. I am still learning and working this concept through.