I recently had an amazing experience at Lake Tahoe. If you haven’t been there, I recommend putting it on your list. It is a natural marvel. Here in Arizona, the lakes are greenish brown and you can’t see more than two feet. Tahoe has been suffering from contamination and the visibility is down to…80 feet! It is crystal blue and turquoise. There are beaches that look just like the ocean. It was surrounded by snow capped mountains, waterfalls, and enormous pine trees. More than once, I stopped and looked at the scenery and thought it was a painting. One of the blessings came from where my wife and I were staying, a mansion up on a mountain (no, I can’t afford that, it was a blessing from a friend who was getting married). We got to sit and look out over the mountains and lake all day every day. It was nothing short of magnificent.
I came back to the desert, which I truly love, and it just didn’t look the same to me. I realized I don’t live in the desert anymore. I live in a big city. It took my eyes adjusting to a pure form of nature to finally see my city as it really is. Arizona is a state of transplants and all of them tell me that they don’t like it because it is just shades of brown. I always argued because I saw the desert landscape that would bloom in hours after a rain. The desert of Arizona is awesome because it varies so much. This was the first time where I really understood what they meant. The desert of Arizona is beautiful. A giant city in the middle of the dessert is just brown and gray and kind of blah.
I joke regularly about becoming my dad, complaining about too many people, reminiscing about how you remember when “that used to be desert,” and how I just want move to the woods. I think it has finally solidified within me.
This change had me wondering what changed in me.
For one, there is an issue with our brains. We tend to remember something as it is when we first meet it. Think of a kid you met. You remember them being small, but that was five years ago. So, you say, “wow, you’ve changed so much.” The immensity of that change is a comparison to the image you have in your brain from when you met them. That is what the desert is for me. I remember it a certain way and now it isn’t, so I am forced to reconcile massive changes all the time. I am not particularly good with change, if I’m being honest.
There is also lack of beauty in development here. They are no longer incorporating the buildings into the landscape. So, the desert is literally going away. The building isn’t even nice to look at. They are just gray and brown boxes. If they were like New York, where architecture meant something, I think I would be more inclined to accept it. If you remove something beautiful, you should replace it with something equal or greater in beauty.
Lastly, I think I’m beginning to long for a simpler state of being. We spent more time on the north side of lake Tahoe, which is very small town Americana. The drive back to Reno was mountains and grass and open land. I’m not saying I want to go wild or Amish. I am just realizing that even the slow parts of a big city are still faster than I a want to go.
I’ve always believed God put me in Arizona for reason. I’m not sure what that reason is quite yet, but I’m going to stick around to make sure I don’t miss it. I will need to figure out how to reconcile the fact that I live in a big city and its only going to get bigger. I have to find a way to embrace the future and all the change it brings and not resent it because it is no longer what I remember.
I’m open to suggestions.
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