I’m writing this blog from a vacation. I normally do much better at planning ahead and write my blogs well before I go so I don’t have to worry about it. For some reason, I didn’t do that this time. The benefit of my negligence is a reflection of my family time while in the middle of it.
Family time is surprisingly difficult. We get some short bursts of good time on the weekends and at the dinner table. It isn’t sustained quality time though. There isn’t enough time to work through anything. It’s like having 1 day off for vacation. Is it better than a kick in the pants? Yes, but no one comes back from one day saying, “boy, I feel refreshed and ready to get back to work!”
One benefit of this extended close family exposure was for old wounds to make it to the surface. I’m not a perfect parent. I lose my temper from time to time. I’ve hurt my daughter’s feelings more than once. I did so recently. I apologized and thought we were good. Little did I know…it was still hovering just under the surface. My daughter said she forgave me, but hasn’t processed the hurt. I had no idea she was still holding on to it.
Another benefit is relationship building. During the hustle and bustle of the week, I just don’t have a lot of time to spend with any one person to develop anything. Scheduling an extended period of time, where I have no other priorities other than the people I’m with, allows me to focus on them a bit more. We move through the day together, we see where we synch and where we don’t. We see what personality traits work together and which ones clash. One of my daughter’s likes to act like she knows everything and tries to force her knowledge on her little sister…I wonder where she gets that from? (Not me, that’s for sure.) Being able to watch that, I have been able to see why we clash.
There is so much to learn about each other. I’ve been with my family for a very long time, and will be with them for longer still (God willing). There will never be a time I’m not learning about them. The key is having enough time to actually learn things that aren’t just floating on the surface.
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