I had my very first opportunity to serve as a best man at someone’s wedding. That someone is our very own AJ. 40 years into this life, and I had never been someone’s best man. This blog is not about my inability to make or keep friends. I’ll save that for my psychiatrist. I want to write a little bit about fulfilling a duty.
I feel like people are less willing to accept responsibility these days. It could just be that I’m becoming a crotchety old man and like to shake my fist at the youths. It’s a real possibility.
I feel like I should define responsibility a bit. My experience has been that many people are willing to accept tasks if there is something in it for them. Once that reward system dries up though, they are gone. I think responsibility has a level of commitment built into it, a sense of loyalty to a task or person. I am responsible for my wife and daughters. There is no time limit. There is no bailing when I don’t get rewarded. Responsibility is commitment to something because it is good and worth working to bring about.
I have a tendency to take my responsibilities pretty serious. If someone is asking me to be responsible for something, then I have to commit to bringing about that good as far as I can. That is a serious task.
I felt that way when I was asked to be AJ’s best man. Having never done it before, I did not know what to do. Thankfully, there were lots of blogs out there for my research. I worked through a list of questions with AJ and it mostly boiled down to two major pieces: the bachelor party and the best man speech.
I was nervous about the bachelor party, well…because I get nervous about everything. I was tasked with creating an event to demonstrate the comradery of the males in AJ’s life, to ensure he felt supported and celebrated. So much of that is out of my hands. I can’t make anyone feel anything. This was very Field of Dreams, “build it and they will come,” stuff. I had to build something that fostered that environment. Based on the feedback I got, I think I (with the help of my friend Walther) achieved that.
The last big piece was the best man speech. I was given a back door. I could have bailed on it because no one else was doing a speech. I was asked to be a best man though, and one of the responsibilities of the best man is to give the speech. I wasn’t about to shirk my responsibility. Back to the blogs for research, I went. I found a good template from a great blog called “The Art Of Manliness.” I memorized it sitting down, then standing up, then holding a pen to simulate a microphone. Then, I prayed, because I was so worried I’d choke or black out and say something random and not even realize it. Thanks be to God, that did not happen. Again, based on the feedback, it seemed to be pretty good.
All in all, it was a fantastic experience. I do not often get asked to be responsible for pieces of people’s lives. Their wedding will be with them forever, that is a huge responsibility. It was a huge blessing as well. I would encourage everyone to look for opportunities to take on responsibility. Commit to serving someone or something and bring about as much good as you can for that person or thing. The reward won’t be anything you can spend. It will be a sense of pride that comes from helping make, if not the world, a small piece of someone’s world just a little bit better.
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