Rather than engaging with the other and being challenged by what is different than us, we retreat to groups of people who think and act exactly as we do. We have become so weak in our positions that the mere idea of a someone challenging our beliefs terrifies us. The primary purpose for engagement is, more often than not, to prove that we are right. We might engage with like minded people so they can confirm our beliefs. We engage with people different than us so we can confirm our bias. We do not listen to what people say, but hear trigger words that allow us to deny that person their reason and then push them into a generalization we can judge without feeling guilty.