I have been playing around with videos for a good chunk of this year. I was having a hard time finding my passion though. Recently AJ and I talked about our vision and how we were not as specific as we thought we were. We had moved our focus to the podcast, to getting our Beer Server Certification, to everything but Coffee, which is our core business. This is also what I am passionate about. As soon as I went in that giant circle, I realized I should make videos for coffee.
For those of you who don’t know, I am not a videographer. I have zero equipment and very little know how. I also don’t have the money to pay someone to do this work for us (yet!). That means we are going to do it the old fashioned way: jump in with both feet and figure it out as we go. I have yet to run into any big issues. I have, though, run into 100 small ones, which feel much more difficult to handle than one big one.
Last night I had finally had it. I lost my cool. I had a great idea but every time I tried to execute it, something small would pop up and derail me. There are a couple of issues that I am being faced with:
- Social media has made it feel like everyone who does anything does it perfectly all the time. That isn’t reality, but it is perceived as such. It also sets up a standard that we measure ourselves by. As soon as I start saying, “if I can’t make it as good as that person, then I shouldn’t do it,” then I have a lost that round.
- Insecurities began lifting their ugly head again, mainly because of that sense of judgment or comparison. When I feel insecure, I pull back and analyze and then analyze more, and then analyze until I’m paralyzed. That paralysis frustrates me so I’m stuck and angry, which tends to be self-destructive.
I sat down last night and started my quiet time (a period of time where I reflect on gratitude, pray, and read my Bible). I was having a hard time finding anything to be grateful for because my mind was overwhelmed by the many little things that stacked up against me.
Then I had my epiphany. God is so much bigger than these issues. God is bigger than anything this world can bring against me. I know this because I have a history of overcoming obstacles much larger than this. I looked back through some of the trials in my life and realized that I may have been tossed about, but my boat was never turned over. Why? Because God was bigger than that storm and he’s bigger than this storm too.
That change in perspective, focusing on how big God, is made these trials seem trivial in comparison. Once my perspective shifted, my frustration went way down and hope returned. I know it’s still going to be struggle. I know I won’t be putting out Hollywood quality videos. I also know that I will learn and grow and in the not to distant future, I will look back and see how my God brought me through this trial as well.