I don’t know about you, but I find it really easy to get comfortable. My standard for what I need to be comfortable is shockingly low. This past summer, in Phoenix, mind you, my air conditioner in my apartment stopped working, but I spent a week with it barely able to keep my apartment at 80 before it died entirely and I finally had to call in to get it repaired. This isn’t, to be clear, me bragging. This isn’t a good thing or some heroic virtue, it’s idleness and complacency.
I bring this up because, clearly, I’m generally good with being comfortable. And yet, when it comes to things that really matter, things surrounding my job, my relationships, my faith, etcetera, I often feel like I’m on edge. Not all the time, but reasonably often. Weirdly, it normally isn’t when things are going badly that I struggle. It tends to be when things are going well, actually. For whatever reason, I have a real tendency to wonder when the problems are going to come.
What is the problem? Well, I am more comfortable adapting to and overcoming problems than I am trusting that things can continue going well. I’ve become so used to things being difficult and complicated that, in those moments when things seem to be on track, I assume the problem is right around the corner. This, then, is one of my Lenten practices. I’m going to attempt to fast from nitpicking and worrying and focus my prayer in gratitude and trust, not just in the big things, but in all things. I’ve never particularly doubted that God will bring things to good eventually, but I need to get better at trusting that He is with me in the day to day.
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