I sat down with a friend the other night and she asked me how my classes went. I gave her my honest opinion. That I enjoyed the learning experience but I was really tired from it. I hadn’t written anything creatively since I began preparing for it. She gave me her thoughts. She thought that made sense because it wasn’t what I was passionate about.
I told her how I like teaching people as a supervisor (because she has worked with me through all that) and so I thought this was a good way to do it. Through our discussion I realized that I don’t really feel called to stand up on a stage and teach people. I wanted to do that because I like to help the people I care about be/do better. I care about Christ and His Church, so it seemed logical that I should teach some of the things I have learned.
The issue with that thinking is that it isn’t what I’m called to do. It was a good experience but it was what I “thought I should do” versus what I was called to do.
There are so many things that we do because we thought we should do it. College is one of those things. For me personally, I went because it was the thing I was supposed to do, not because I felt called to it. Frankly, I’ve struggled with expectations vs calling all my life and at the heart of it is legalism. It is take the spirit of the law and turning it into cultural expectations. That way, if I just do what is expected of me, then ergo, I will fulfill the law and God will be pleased with me.
This not how it works. God is dynamic and cannot be put in a box. His creations are limitless in their uniqueness. There is no mold for us to mindlessly follow. We are in a relationship with Christ and for that reason we cannot just treat him with rote responses.
I don’t regret my experience, because, in all honesty, I am the type of person that has to do the thing to realize that thing is not for me. Otherwise, I will be tortured with the fear that I may have missed my calling and missed out on my best life. Better to do and know, then not and worry.
We are not all called to the same thing. There is a ton of cultural and social pressure to do those things. Try them, see if they are a fit. If they are not, then let them go. Not everyone is meant to be a preacher, not everyone is meant to be a teacher, some of us are called to roast coffee and write stories.
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